Russian president Vladimir Putin was asked in a recent Q&A if he was considering annexing Alaska, a territory that belonged to Russia until the mid 19th century when Russia was like, "you're boring," and dumped it to the US for $7.2 mil in shiny Gold.
Vlad just hooked up with Crimea and is all confident in his body. Best of all, Russia didn't mind, she was like, "It's cool, you can hook up with other regions, I like Crimea." One Russian, (and 42,000 Americans) were like, "Why don't we hook up with our ex from Middle School, we were too young to fool around then and now America gets all the fun." Vlad was like, "Why are you into Alaska, too cold, only worth annexing girls that don't look like your girlfriend."