Friendly Fire

New Military Budgeting Techniques Revealed

Leaked documents in connection with the Pentagon’s recently unveiled budget cites friendly fire as a useful implement in cost mitigation.  Among shrinking America’s air and sea presence and scaling back long term occupation programs, the military seeks to limit the number of veterans who return home to US soil.

Drones, specifically, will be employed to target US personnel during return missions, however only following the success of assigned objectives.  Failed missions will be redeployed in order to engage more dependents in the program.

“As veteran needs continue to weigh on the public forum and US economy, we feel this new strategy should nip the problem in the bud,” said a source at the Pentagon who wishes to remain anonymous.